Getting stressed about eating healthy isn't healthy

I'm in the middle of making sage cupcakes right now, so I'm hoping to keep this short. But this has been on my mind for a bit now and I think I'm really starting to grasp it.

I'll start here: I love food. You may or may not have guessed this about me. Less goes onto this blog than I think goes on it, but I think about posting about food ALL the time.

I'll go on to say: I also like being healthy.  I like feeling good and strong and energetic. And since what I eat affects my health more than anything else I do, I therefore like eating healthy.

But I like eating yummy too. And when healthy and yummy coincide, that's the ultimate bomb-diggity, I tell you.

There's a strange myth out there that healthy food isn't yummy food. But I guess it depends on how you define healthy food and I'm thinking that it's because people get healthy food mixed up with "health food." There's actually a BIG difference between the two.

Health food is soy protein, "candy" vitamins, wheat grass juice, spirulina* and cardboard "fiber" cereal that most people I've met have independently nick-named "twigs and stones." Yuck.  Yes, I agree, health food is grody!

Healthy food, however. Ahh, the goodness... don't even get me started on this. Okay, too late.

Real butter, fresh fruit and vegetables, homemade whole wheat sourdough bread, homemade pierogies with homemade sauerkraut. Homemade mayonnaise, ketchup, pickles, oh oh oh. I want to go eat something.

You're seeing a theme here: homemade = good. And it's true.

Of course, just cause it's made at home doesn't actually mean its healthy, but it's no doubt better than not homemade counterparts. I will never claim that my homemade marshmallows are "healthy" but they certainly are yummier than the jet puffed kind...

And you see, this is generally my motivation when it comes to food. I love making good food at home with real ingredients and, since I don't add superfluous sugar, chemicals or food-colourings, I really thought I was doing well. I was happy and felt healthy due to all this good food.

But then I read the first 70 pages of Nourishing Traditions. And I'd recommend you do it too, but I warn you: you will get freaked out. 

My first feeling was fear, then despair. I thought I had been eating healthy.

But no, I hadn't been soaking my grains, the milk I was using to make my homemade yogurt was nasty and full of trouble, my eggs weren't free-range and therefore hardly beneficial and I may as well be inviting hardened arteries and many other deadly diseases into my home by buying canola oil. And the fact that I was using white sugar? Forget it.

Oh what, those vegetables you buy aren't organic? You are dead, sister, or as good as.

I was scared. I was depressed. I was in complete distress. I thought I had been doing everything right! I mean, yeah, we still ate sugary laden treats every now and then, but I generally reduced the sugar... That's not good enough? Any amount of white sugar in my diet is going to kill me, wow, I had no idea.

So then I started wildly making changes. I soaked my flours for bread, biscuits, muffins. If I couldn't figure out how to make it without soaking the flour first I didn't make it.  And if  I had a whim to make something but hadn't thought of soaking, or if I had forgotten? Well, it simply didn't happen. I also did my utmost to stop using sugar.

Unsweetened oatmeal? gag it down baby, it's healthy and I remembered to soak it the night before. Mushy, flat banana muffins. What? You don't like them? Well, too bad, they're healthy so EAT THEM.

My good, delicious and nurtured baking skills and cooking talents went bye-bye for a while as I attempted to make things HEALTHY.

John did not complain. (much) He did mention the banana muffins "weren't particularly good" and he added his own sugar to his oatmeal (much to my alarm.)

But when I started trying to convince him of all the more money we'd have to start spending so that our food would be healthy... Well, he laid down the law. (Sort of.)

I had to calm down. Yes, spending boatloads of money on "organic" produce did kind of seem like a gigantic leap. Since our decision to to start saving money to buy a house we've tightened our belts, so to speak, on spending. Not that we spent a lot before, but I had decided I'd try to keep our monthly food bills under $130 a month. Then suddenly, I wanted to buy raw milk, organic vegetables, free-range eggs. These things are considerably more pricy than what we normally bought. My own mind's voice of reason yelled at me to calm down, and John's calm voice of reason calmly told me to calm down.

I was getting stressed out and feeling bummed about my non-organic potatoes in my gnocchi and at breakfast, I was cringing as I ate battery-raised chicken eggs. But I was also gagging as I ate unsweetened oatmeal and I was longing for a rich chocolatey sugar laden BROWNIE.  I had to think of my health!

Then it occurred to me. What's the point of food if it doesn't taste good? Yeah, yeah, I'll choke down some wild-caught salmon if someone else is paying, but really? I don't like the taste of fish. But it's healthy, and if someone else is paying, then I'm gonna get me some omega-3s down, baby! But when everything is gross because it's "healthy"? Um, no. I can't do it.

After all, I had to think of my health. Enjoyment of food is so very important to me that, I'm much more willing to eat something that's a little sub-par of the perfect health food every now and then, if it's yummier.

So I never figured out how to soak flour and get a good cookie out of it. No way am I giving up cookies! Right, yes, limit cookies, yes, yes. But give up sugar all together? No.

So I've drawn the line. Some things are more delicious when it's healthier, like homemade bread being a trillion times tastier than store-bought bread. And when you add whole-wheaty goodness? Yes! Oh and sourdrough bread? My gosh, I'm drooling and it's way more nutritious than regular old bread. And I was in on sourdough way before Sally Fallon approved of it.

Raw milk? TOTALLY worth the price for it's goodness and it's entirely more yummy than pasteurized, homogenized milk. My husband agreed and we've made that step. But some times you really do just need a little bit of sugar in your porridge, and if I forgot to soak flour before dinner, well, the non-soaked biscuits ain't gonna kill me. And dang it, I'm going to enjoy this peanut-butter chocolate chip cookie even if it IS slowly killing me due to non-organic peanuts and the fact that chocolate has caffeine and it has WHITE death sugar in it.

Obviously, real butter is better than margarine because it tastes better. Also happens to be healthier. And olive oil really does taste better than canola, so even if it's a bit pricier, I'll switch to using it all the time instead of just when the taste will make a difference.

Plus, John is happier. And by default, I am too. A healthy marriage is also an important key to being healthy, you know?

And fermented foods are FANTASTIC and healthier. And guess what, Sally Fallon? I discovered and liked fermented foods before I read your book. So there. *raspberry*

Okay, but actually, her book does have valuable information and I say "read it if you dare." But pick and choose your battles, because you can't win them all. I've even read some things saying that a certain amount of phytates (what I'm trying to get rid of by soaking my flour) are actually beneficial. So whats up with that? And while I, personally, never drink soda and find it absolutely disgusting, I don't think I would go so far as to call it "the veritable drink of the devil" as she does. And I also prefer my cook books to let me choose my own flours and not "allow" unbleached white flour in certain recipes. You don't allow me anything, sister! I make my own choices.

I'm so empowered and free now. Now that I figured out that stressing out about eating healthy isn't healthy.

And now I'm going to finish making my sage cupcakes and I'm going to put brown butter frosting on top that's CHOCK FULL of SUGAR.

But don't worry, they're soaked and made with sourdough, so it's not too bad.

*I actually like spirulina, but don't tell anyone.

This is what happens when you put me in charge of the s'mores...

John and I and a group of friends planned a cook out for this last weekend; a bonfire on the beach with hot dogs and tin-foil wrapped potatoes smothered in the coals. And of course, s'mores. As far as I'm concerned, s'mores are essential to any fire-centered party being successful. Well, since I'm so adamant about marshmallows and chocolate melted between two slabs of sweet cinnamon-and-honey-crackery goodness, I found myself being placed in charge of the s'more round up.

I took my role very seriously. These would be the best danged s'mores of all time.

It started when I made marshmallows...

Last year I had learned to make the whipped sugary gelatin confections. They were scrum-diddly-umptious, bouncy and fluffy. More yummy than any store bought marshmallow could even imagine tasting. You don't even need corn syrup to make them.

 And the best part? You can flavour them. Any flavour you can imagine!!! ... Well, almost. I have a really vivid imagination when it comes to flavours and some pretty clever means of bringing them into existence...(though, I do say so myself. *cough*)

Of last year's production

Last year they were Earl Grey flavoured marshmallows. This year, inspired by pine edibilities, I made them...of course, Pine flavoured. But in case my very normal friends thought this to be too outrageous for their taste buds I made an alternate Vanilla Orange flavoured batch.

The result?
Oh heavenly goodness. How could such lovely perfection be wasted with nasty, grody, waxy, fake "chocolate" as those hershey "smore sized" bars? No no! I would have GOOD chocolate with my marshmallows and that was that.

But the prices. Oooohhhhhhhh the prices. A bar of silky, cocoa-y, marvelous Ghiradelli chocolate was ever so expensive. They were being priced at more than NINE DOLLARS A POUND. Even the yucky Hershey chocolate was more expensive than I imagined it could be.

So you know what I did?

I went to the BAKING section! Ah ha! Two 12oz bags of Ghiradelli semi-sweet chocolate chips for $5! That's under four dollars a pound! (I think...) Who needs Ghiradelli to put their chocolate in bar shaped slabs for an extra five bucks a pound? I could do that myself!

And while I was at it I would sprinkle sea salt on them babies.

Noms.

Now that's chocolate. Better than any sub-par Hershey chocolate could ever imagine tasting.

Well, that settled it. If I was going to go "cheap" and gourmet at the same time (funny how those two coincide more often than many people might imagine) I'd simply have to make my own graham crackers too.

Yeah, I've done that before too. And they were fantastic. More delicious than any stale store graham cracker could even imagine tasting. So I did it again and they were the perfect top and bottom to my marvelous marshmallow masterpieces and my clever chocolaty concoction.

The cookout was amazing. Fire + food + frisbees = forever fun.. (I'm fond of alliterating, you know.) How could it go wrong? Okay, well it was on a New Hampshire beach in April, so yeah, it was cold too. But that just added to the adventure.

 And the s'mores?

 Yeah, you know it.

Absolutely amazing. Better than any combination of jet-puffed marshmallow, waxy Hershey chocolate and Nabisco graham crackers could have ever even imagined tasting. As far as I'm concerned, this is the only way to have s'mores.

Wish I had a photo of the final product, but my camera is not beach friendly.

Even my normal taste-budded friends were impressed. Please excuse me while I go and be smug.

Amazing chocolate cake

I'm making this amazingly delicious chocolate cake today for my father-in-law's birthday. It's amazing and delicious. I know because I've made it once before. The only thing I plan to change is that in the whipped cream filling I'm going to flavour it with peppermint extract (homemade!) instead of vanilla. YUM.

I love chocolate.

I also love this lady's blog. She's hilarious, has really amazing photos and her recipes are always fabulous. I hope you enjoy!

The Frog Prince

Bonus picture! This little statuette hangs out near the backdoor of our apartment building. Random and awesome, no?

Update: Here's the picture of my completed product. Unfortunately,  my "roll" didn't work. It worked the first time I made it, but this time I think I let it cool too long before rolling it in the tea towel. So I go (delicious) chocolate cake bits. I layered them, put some mint whipped cream over them, and layered them again. I didn't have enough whipped cream to cover the entire top so I just plopped it in the middle. And then garnished with a mint sprig for prettiness. It was delicious and my father-in-law really liked it.

Heavenly  chocolate cake with mint whipped cream.

 Heck, we all liked it! (Even my mother-in-law who is always on a "diet")

Brownie Experiments

Brownies and a cup of tea.

I needed a brownie fix today, as I'm sure everyone does now and then. My problem is that I don't have any one go-to brownie recipe. I normally just make one up as I go using current ingredients on hand- usually the staples of cocoa powder and vegetable oil among other things (sugar, flour etc.)

What's terrible about this strategy is that it's very hit or miss. I've made fantastic ooey-gooey amazing chocolatey and perfect brownies, but I've also made an awful lot of not so perfect brownies too. Cakey and dry, or tough. So today I thought "If I write down what I do, I'll know how to tweak it for next time."

It's all about being more systematic. I can do this, be systematic, that is. I know because I do it for long term things like wine-making. It's so important for that because by the time you actually taste your experiment you've probably forgotten what you did. John is very faithful about recording what he does with his beers. So today, I wrote down a very basic brownie recipe.

I like brownies on the cheap, brownies on the fast and brownies on the what-I-have-on-hand. Which is almost never baking chocolate or even chocolate chips, for that matter. And butter is waaaaay too pricey for just throwing one or two sticks into a batch of brownies. Not to mention kind of unhealthy. Plus, I rarely have that much butter randomly softened already. I don't want to have to plan ahead for brownie cravings.

This is what I came up with:
Brownies on the Cheap
2/3 cups all purpose flour
2/3 cups sugar
1/4 tsp salt
1/3 cup plus 2 tbsp. cocoa powder
1 egg
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1/4 cup water or tea*

Whisk dry ingredients together in a bowl add wet ingredients, mix well. Pour into a 9x9 pan and bake for 20 minutes at 350.

Result? Very cakey. Good tasting, but on the dry side. I'm not sure if it was because I over baked them or if it was a lack of something. Maybe another egg? (I hate using more eggs than is necessary. I've seen some brownie recipes use up to 4!) Perhaps a bit more sugar? Maybe less flour? More oil?

I'm going to try this same recipe with one more egg next time. And sometime in the future I'm going to try flax eggs**; make them vegan. I love just seeing how many things I can leave out or change about a recipe to make it vegan or gluten-free. I blame it on being a baker in a health food store for 2 years. I had to come up with stuff like that all the time.

Feel free to use the recipe, tweak it, change it, experiment with it. Tell me what you did and your results. I'd love that! It would be like having my own league of researchers! Despite too-cakeyness of these brownies, I'm definitely going to enjoy them.

*I used caramel black tea. I bet you could get all sorts of creative with the types of tea you use: chai, lavender, fruit teas....you could also use milk here.

**to make a flax egg mix one table spoon of ground flax seed with 1/4 cup of boiling or very hot water and allow to sit for a few minutes. The water and seeds will become gelatinous and very eggwhite-ish. Works wonders as a vegan egg replacer in baked goods.

Bananas for dinner (and breakfast and dessert.)

Last night I made an amazingly delicious dish. Banana Spaghetti. I have had a dish called Banana Spaghetti before made by my culinary talented brother-in-law Terence. But when I decided I wanted to put bananas in my pasta last night, it was a bit different than what I remembered eating for an Independence Day Dinner a few years ago. From what I remember of Terence's it had bell peppers, roasted bananas and no red sauce (probably had other stuff too, I just can't remember, but it WAS good.) Mine had peas, corn, carrots, peppers, onions, garlic and cayenne pepper all sauteed along with bananas (which got mushy with the frying and only lent flavour and no actual banana chunks) and since I knew my husband would balk if there was no sauce, I put a can of tomato sauce in there too. And it was gooooood. Sweet, spicy, flavourful. Both John and I really enjoyed it (and the leftovers were fantastic too.)
So I thought I'd share a bit of a recipe with you. Mind, I didn't measure anything and you can mix and match with vegetables and spices. This is how I normally cook, think of what I have, think of a basic dish and make it up as I go. So be creative and I hope it works for anyone who wants to try.
As a side note, prepared pasta will be a given in this recipe, so I guess its really more of a sauce recipe.
Banana Spaghetti
Onions, chopped
red, green, yellow bell peppers, chopped
a carrot, chopped
a handful of frozen peas
a handful of frozen corn
one or two sliced bananas
sea salt
cayenne pepper
crushed garlic
a pinch of rosemary (I like to grind rosemary in my mortar, so it's less pine-needle-y)
a pinch of sage
a dash of cinnamon (in hindsight, I don't know that the scanzy amount of cinnamon I added did anything for the overall dish, I couldn't taste it, but it may have done it's part, I don't know.)
dash of allspice (I believe a little more allspice would have been nice. I like allspice in tropical-like savoury dishes.)
one can of tomato sauce (if I wasn't compromising for my husband's sake, I would have put a can of diced tomatoes instead, or better, chopped fresh tomatoes, of which I had none, so therefore, could not add)
But while we're on the wish list-I bet fresh basil would have done wonders to this dish.
Annny way, I basically sauteed all this together in my cast iron pan until the onions were translucent, the carrots tender and the banana good and mashed up and then mixed it into my prepared pasta. It was tasty and rather different.

Funny thing, on the banana theme, I woke up today and made banana pancakes (sorry, no recipe) and then after dinner tonight, I made a delicious banana chocolate pudding/mousse.
Basic recipe is as follows (I'm trying for some measurements here, but bear with me as I'm estimating, feel free to tweak if needed):
Banana Chocolate pudding/mousse/pie filling (frosting?)
3Tbs coconut oil
4 tbs cocoa powder
1 or two bananas mashed with a fork
4-5 tbs honey
Combine all in a shallow pan and turn heat to low (just enough to melt the coconut oil and dissolve the honey, basically) Once the oil is basically softened, turn the heat off and whisk with a fork (or if you have one of those awesome tiny whisks, I'm majorly jealous.) You can eat it while warm, if you like your pudding warm and slightly runny, or let cool to room temp for a nice thick pudding. I ate it at room temp, but I imagine if you put it into the fridge, you'd get a nice solid silk-pie texture. This was good, and incredibly easy, and not too unhealthy (it seems to me). Plus, I usually have these ingredients!

As an awesome close to this post, John just asked me on a date. Heck yes. :D

Library and Tea shop, amongst other things...Hills, most notably.

When it comes down to it, I really am a flatlander. Florida is flat. It really is. Especially the Keys. They're all at sea level. Well, okay, Key West has a hill which inclines to about 4 feet above sea level....and we think that's something. So when I came to this hill country of New Hampshire, I can't say I was prepared for...well, hills. I rode my bike to the library downtown today. It's about a mile and a half, and a mostly flat ride. Mostly. There are two hills. One going down, one going up. Down is easy! Up killed me. And this is a LITTLE hill, mind you. Exeter, compared to other parts of New Hampshire, is a decently flattish town to the naked eye. It's not until your actually walking or riding a bike that you realize .... "Wow, this here is a HILL." My best guess is that I rode about about two to four feet of slow ascent and then gave up. I got off and walked that blasted bike up. I didn't have enough speed to bring me along (I really couldn't get any speed on my bike, it's a put-put bike) and my legs were in no shape to pump me up. I felt really lame. I guess it didn't help that my tires were pretty low, either...

But on the good side! I got a book to read for when I'm done with The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck. (Which is amazing. It's my first read by Steinbeck, but it won't be the last. It was a slow start, but now that I'm into it it's beautiful. He's poetic and illustrative through every sentence. And the people are so real, so feeling.) I got a book called Crown Duel by a Sherwood Smith. Some fantasy novel I've never heard of by someone I've never heard of but it looked interesting. That kinda book. But I love reading. And now that the weather is really warming up, I can sit outside and read. And pure loveliness, it is, my friends.
Another delightful thing is that I splurged on buying some organic Lavender flowers today. An ounce. And I am SO excited about them. I love lavender and I'll be baking spring in to a lot of concoctions now that I have it. Not to mention Lavender Chocolate ice cream...

That's right folks. I now I have an ice cream maker and I'm NOT afraid to use it. Just today in fact, I made some Papaya Ginger Ice Cream and Chocolate Spice-cream (clever name, no?) is in the works. The papaya recipe I developed on my own and the chocolate one I adapted. If they end up turning out delish, I just may post the recipes. I love exploring new flavours and combinations, and ice cream is a great format for a lot of them. It would be fun to turn this blog in to a foodie type one...amongst other things. You know?